It's Got: Minnie Driver having a diva strop and then starting to sing so Phants drops an over-sized tapestry on her head. As for the rest of it? Well, the sets look shoogly, the actings wooden (particularly on Rossums part), and its attempts at the macabre are a bit like The League of Gentlemen only without the humour. I still dont think much of the music, and there appear to be only three or four actual numbers, which are then repeated to death with tweaked lyrics, and linked by inane, directionless warbling. You may well have already guessed that Im not going to recommend The Phantom of the Opera. I mean, after ∝on Juan theres The Lone Ranger, and then maybe ∛atman, but thats really about it. The trouble is, if he DOES insist on giving himself the lead role in all of his plays, hes kind of restricted in what stories he chooses to adapt. And hes even written an opera for himself to star in, based on the tale of ∝on Juan. For one thing, he makes all of his own masks. Still, at least Phants keeps himself busy. In short, the Phantom is a nutter, and by the time the films plodded to a halt, theres not a character or viewer who doesnt know it. Hes also a man who floats maniacally around the basement in a tiny little boat and sleeps in a bed shaped like a giant sea-shell. After all, to put things in perspective, his love rival is a man who looks like a cross between Freddy Kreuger and Laurence Llewelyn-Bowen. Even the side-character played by mouse-eyed pop scally Jennifer Ellison gives her a funny look when she hears that one.Īnyway, Christines dashing beau Raoul (Patrick Wilson) isnt best chuffed when he hears whats been going on. Of course, she thinks its the ghost of her dead Popsy whos been teaching her to croon, the daft idiot. Up-and-coming songstress Christine (Emmy Rossum) has been inadvertently receiving singing lessons from said phantom and, being a man, old Phants now wants some sugar in return. The story takes place in Paris, 1870, where an opera house is having a spot of bother with an unwanted lodger (Gerard Butler as the phantom who isnt a phantom at all, but rather just a facially-disfigured bloke in a Scream mask who refuses to leave). And there lies one of the key reasons why this valiant attempt at bringing The Phantom of the Opera to the cinema screen is, frankly, a bit rubbish. A falling chandelier or a river of candles might look incredible on stage, but on the big screen they equate to nothing better than a so what?.
In the cinema, however, Im used to better. Thats predominantly because, as someone who frequents the theatre less than regularly, I had no idea such jaw-dropping visual feats were possible in a live performance. Me? Well, I did see the stage show a few years back, and my lasting impression of it was that the story was poor, the music was poor, but the special effects were breath-taking. Those who love the Andrew Lloyd Webber musical are bound to pick faults with it, and those who hate all that Webber spawns will well hate this as well. Director Joel Schumacher is on a bit of hiding to nothing with this film.